How can we stay positive?
It’s so easy to fall into a rut and get stuck there. Someone says something to us, or we say something we shouldn’t, we act a certain way, or don’t do something. Riddled with regret, missed opportunity or lack of self confidence: just one moment can eat us from the inside. It can weasel it’s way into our heart, and eventually into our minds. When this happens, how can we stay positive? How can we not dwell?
It’s hard, definitely not an easy task.
Yesterday I talked about nostalgia, which can often be accompanied by a strong feeling of regret. The two together create negativity. So how do we get past them?
Yesterday, I proclaimed myself stronger. I believe this to be true. But this known strength is being slowly decayed by the negativity and anxiety I feel now. And so, just like how I asked in my opener: how do we stay positive? How do we stop ourselves from falling prey to worrying what others are thinking, to stop ourselves from feeling pathetic or desperate, (as I sometimes see myself) or stop ourselves from that awful feeling of worthlessness?
I don’t know. Maybe this post, labeled Staying positive! should be labeled, Staying positive? How do I stay positive? How do I reaffirm my life and my self? How do I tell myself, that those moments from last week: the dancing and happiness are what I need to focus on, and not the parts that hurt?
I’ll try to answer it by a few proclamations:
1. I suffer from anxiety which leads me away from positivity. Sometimes it doesn’t affect me, and sometimes it’s debilitating. This post is about loving myself. But can I love my anxiety? Can I embrace this flaw?
2. Identifying where I’m at right now is powerful. Understanding that I’m being negative, and that I’m suffering under the pressure of anxiety is a step forward from believing the irrationality of the anxiety. I love that I can identify this, I can pinpoint it, and I can say, “I want to change how I feel, I want to bring rationality into my life, and I want to feel good”. That’s huge. I could never have said that 1 year ago.
3. I’m back in the mirror today to see what I love about my body. A few things: I’m purposely avoiding “problem” areas (those parts of myself that I’ve always struggled with) because I’m not yet ready to fully love them. It’s been one week, and I’ve been going easy on myself, choosing parts that I’ve never really struggled with. Today, I’m still not ready. I’ve chosen my eyebrows for today for the following reason: I’ve never plucked or waxed or done anything with my eyebrows but still, I have no fuss with them. It’s that easy to love them 😉
But, because I have been avoiding those problem areas, I am going to list them, just like how I need to speak up about my inner flaws (the anxiety); pointing it out, will (hopefully) eventually allow me to love it, I will do the same with my body. I’ve always been uncomfortable with: my stomach (including, hips, waist, love handles and just that entire area), my breasts, my nose, my thighs, my arms, my fingernails (I know it’s a weird one). Not my ass, I like that. 😉